Because
of my specific strengths and personality, I find it most challenging to relate
to people who are set in their ways and refuse to listen to any other view
other than their own. To me this is a sign of disrespect and makes it difficult
for me to interact with the individual. These types of people are also
challenging to relate to because I am very tenacious in my belief system,
making for a possible disagreement with two determined people. I also can have difficulty
understanding those who have the strength of activator. I see the benefits of
these strengths, however, it drives me crazy when I work with people who seem
to move too fast and make costly decisions that could be avoided if looked at
patiently.
After
taking the listening self-evaluation, I found that my score, 67 was slightly
above the average score, 61. I found that distractions around me as well as the
way information is presented could make it difficult for me to listen
effectively. My goal is to discipline myself to listen amidst the distractions
and to mentally move past the initial presentation of information to hear the
message. I believe that the best way to improve on listening is by becoming
more mindful of how I interact with people and strictly train myself to listen
through all of the distractions and be patient with people who are presenting
in an awkward your strange way. Asking questions is one practical way to show
interest as well as help provide clarity. By doing this, the message has
greater potential to be delivered successfully even amidst the distractions or
lack of organization by the speaker. The best way to lead is by asking
question. It all comes down to a simple truth: I need to let go of my pride and
show people that the things they say are important, especially in a leadership
role. By showing and grace to others by listening, I am exemplifying how I
would like to be treated when I am speaking to other people.
After
reading the assertion scale described in the textbook, I believe that I am more
often on the assertive/ aggressive side of communication. I generally do a
pretty good job of healthily communicating to other people, however I have the
potential to be harsh in my communication after my patience has declined or I
feel disrespected. I can always improve on how I communicate with people, but
there is no easy formula for doing this. In my opinion, every individual
circumstance is different because of the topic of discussion and the person
that I would be communicating with. My relationship with the individual also
has a big factor in how I communicate. My goal is to be respectful and loving
to everyone that I come into contact with. I believe there are times when grace
should be given to people (not to be confused with unassertiveness) given the
situation. On the same token, I believe there are times when a certain level of
assertiveness should be elevated depending on the circumstance. The best way to
improve my communication is to model my interaction with people to that of
Christ’s example and the truth presented in the bible.
Michael, I agree wholeheartedly with your point about asking questions as a listening technique. I had a mentor once who was phenomenal at listening and asking questions. She listened so carefully and she was thinking so much about me and the circumstances that her questions almost always guided me to a new place of discovery. I definitely want to strive to show that same kind of care to other people when I am listening, but it is hard...!
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